The Expendables

Posted in Uncategorized on August 19th, 2010 by mick – 1 Comment

Summary: Barney Ross leads the “Expendables”, a band of highly skilled mercenaries including knife enthusiast Lee Christmas, martial arts expert Yin Yang, heavy weapons specialist Hale Caesar, demolitionist Toll Road and loose-cannon sniper Gunner Jensen. When the group is commissioned by the mysterious Mr. Church to assassinate the merciless dictator of a small South American island, Barney and Lee head to the remote locale to scout out their opposition. Once there, they meet with local rebel Sandra and discover the true nature of the conflict engulfing the city. When they escape the island and Sandra stays behind, Ross must choose to either walk away and save his own life – or attempt a suicidal rescue mission that might just save his soul.

Review: When The Expendables isn’t busy boring you with sadness, it’s absolutely cringe-worthy at its attempts to be fun.  The film constantly throws around banter and one-liners that reach a new apex in falling flat.  It’s baffling to watch Stallone and Statham pretend like their characters have any chemistry.  The movie wants you to see old pals who have been to hell and back and have the jokes to prove it.  Instead, all you see are two actors reciting awful dialogue to each other.

It also doesn’t help if you can define every character in five words or less.  Stallone: Sad Guy; Statham: Sad Guy with Knives; Jet Li: Wants More Money Guy; Randy Couture: Recommends Therapy Guy (I would also accept “No Acting Ability Guy”); Terry Crews: Giant Gun Guy.  This is your team of bad-asses.

The characters may not have much in the way of personality, but they admittedly do know how to tear it up.  There are some really fun kills in The Expendables, but when you’re wiping out what appears to be half the population of a small country, the kills start becoming redundant.  The most common cause of death in Vilena is either getting shot with 23 bullets in two seconds, getting sliced up, or getting your neck snapped.  The kills aren’t clever but they’re bloody and you’ll be satisfied with some of the fight moves and life-enders, but then that moment will pass and you’ll go back to sleep.

The Expendables wants to be Rambo and Pals, and that intent is an insult to Rambo.  There’s nothing in The Expendables that comes close to the crazy, bloody mess of fun that Stallone created a couple years ago with Rambo. It’s laudable to make a confident movie, but Stallone has nothing to be proud of other than a few action beats and getting Rourke involved.  The film is a sorrowful mess of maudlin pathos, lethargic writing, and non-existent characters.  And the vaunted cameo scene with Stallone, Schwarzenegger, and Willis took me out of the film faster than Planet Hollywood went out of business.  The only remarkable thing about The Expendables is how it fell so short of its less-than-lofty aspiration to be a dumb-fun action movie and instead ended up as a cure for insomnia.

Rating: D

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The Other Guys

Posted in Uncategorized on August 11th, 2010 by mick – 1 Comment



Movie Summary: NYPD Detectives Christopher Danson and P.K. Highsmith (Dwayne Johnson and Samuel L. Jackson) are the baddest and most beloved cops in New York City. They don’t get tattoos – other men get tattoos of them. Two desks over and one back, sit Detectives Allen Gamble (Will Ferrell) and Terry Hoitz (Mark Wahlberg). You’ve seen them in the background of photos of Danson and Highsmith, out of focus and eyes closed. They’re not heroes – they’re “the Other Guys.” But every cop has his or her day and soon Gamble and Hoitz stumble into a seemingly innocuous case no other detective wants to touch that could turn into New York City’s biggest crime. It’s the opportunity of their lives, but do these guys have the right stuff? Written by Sony Pictures

Review:

The Other Guys is a funny movie that’s either repeat viewings or a hard-R cut away from being a classic.  But judged on a single viewing, I was impressed at how McKay not only managed to bring his comic style into another comic genre, but even managed to kick in a little satire for good measure (the movie features the most education closing credits of the year).  Despite a fragile comic chemistry between Ferrell and Wahlberg and some lost energy in the third act, The Other Guys is a solid hybrid comedy that only Adam McKay and Will Ferrell could deliver.

Rating: B

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Cats & Dogs

Posted in Uncategorized on August 11th, 2010 by mick – 3 Comments


Summary: In the age-old battle between cats and dogs, one crazed feline has taken things a paw too far. Kitty Galore, formerly an agent for cat spy organization MEOWS, has gone rogue and hatched a diabolical plan to not only bring her canine enemies to heel, but take down her former kitty comrades and make the world her scratching post. Faced with this unprecedented threat, cats and dogs will be forced

Review:

I don’t know where to begin with the criticism. Shall I cite the writing, which was full of every cop movie cliché one could readily think of? Or perhaps I should start with the effects, because the animatronic dogs and cats were certainly chilling to behold. Also, the mixture of live action with puppets and CGI simply wasn’t well blended, and I fail to see how this film was enhanced by the use of 3-D.  Though the writing in this movie was sub-par, I must commend much of the voice-over work. Bette Midler was perfect for the role of Kitty Galore, as her voice expertly exuded the maniacal characteristics of a feline villain. Nick Nolte was a superb choice for crime fighting canine Butch. James Marsden and Christina Applegate were adequate in their roles as former K-9 dog Diggs and the feline agent Catherine, and Katt Williams was exceptionally annoying as pigeon informant Seamus, though he did create the occasional moment of hilarity.

Rating: D-

Dinner For Schmucks

Posted in Uncategorized on August 11th, 2010 by mick – Be the first to comment

Summary: Tim (Rudd) is a rising executive who “succeeds” in finding the perfect guest, IRS employee Barry (Carell), for his boss’s monthly event, a so-called “dinner for idiots,” which offers certain advantages to the exec who shows up with the biggest buffoon.

Review:

Dinner for Schmucks manages to be funny but only in spite of itself.  The right actors are in play, but they’re always being underserved by the script, the direction, or both.   There are intermittent moments where everything comes together and delivers big laughs.  It’s a solid premise with talented lead actors and some clever jokes.  But it’s also depressing to watch as you see a director read a joke without knowing how to tell it.

Rating: C-

Inception

Posted in Uncategorized on July 20th, 2010 by mick – 1 Comment

Dom Cobb is a skilled thief, the absolute best in the dangerous art of extraction, stealing valuable secrets from deep within the subconscious during the dream state, when the mind is at its most vulnerable. Cobb’s rare ability has made him a coveted player in this treacherous new world of corporate espionage, but it has also made him an international fugitive and cost him everything he has ever loved. Now Cobb is being offered a chance at redemption. One last job could give him his life back but only if he can accomplish the impossible-inception. Instead of the perfect heist, Cobb and his team of specialists have to pull off the reverse: their task is not to steal an idea but to plant one. If they succeed, it could be the perfect crime. But no amount of careful planning or expertise can prepare the team for the dangerous enemy that seems to predict their every move. An enemy that only Cobb could have seen coming.

Review: “True inspiration is impossible to fake,” explains a character in Christopher Nolan’s existentialist heist film Inception.  If that’s the case, then Inception is one of the most honest films ever made.  Nolan has crafted a movie that’s beyond brilliant and layered both narratively and thematically.  It requires the audience to take in a collection of rules, exceptions, locations, jobs, and abilities in order to understand the text, let alone the fascinating subtext.  Nolan’s magnum opus is the first major blockbuster in over a decade that’s demanded intense viewer concentration, raised thoughtful and complex ideas, and wrapped everything all in a breathlessly exciting action film. Inception may be complicated, but simply put it’s one of the best movies of the year.

As you’ve probably guessed, when I said at the beginning of this review that Inception was the first movie in over a decade to mix breathtaking action with thoughtful subtext, I was referring to 1999’s The Matrix.  The comparisons are inevitable.  Both movies deal with the nature of reality combined with pulse-pounding set pieces that will be included in any action-scene highlight reel.  But The Matrix is a freshman level course compared to the doctorate held by Inception, and it has nothing to do with how far special effects have come in ten years.  It’s about taking multiple genres, settings, ideas, emotions, and questions and weaving them into a rich tapestry that will have folks talking long after the credits roll.  But then you throw in those advanced special effects and you have a summer blockbuster that will blow your mind.

You’ve never seen anything like Inception, and you’ll want to see it again and again.

Rating: A

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The Sorcerers Apprentice

Posted in Uncategorized on July 17th, 2010 by mick – Be the first to comment

Balthazar Blake (Nicolas Cage) is a master sorcerer in modern-day Manhattan trying to defend the city from his arch-nemesis, Maxim Horvath (Alfred Molina). Balthazar can’t do it alone, so he recruits Dave Stutler (Jay Baruchel), a seemingly average guy who demonstrates hidden potential, as his reluctant protégé. The sorcerer gives his unwilling accomplice a crash course in the art and science of magic, and together, these unlikely partners work to stop the forces of darkness. It’ll take all the courage Dave can muster to survive his training, save the city and get the girl as he becomes The Sorcerer’s Apprentice.

Review: Perhaps it’s a hangover from the remarkably imaginative and energetic “Inception,” but nothing in this movie about magic, competently directed by Jon Turteltaub, feels the least bit magical. There is one sequence that pays tribute to the film’s supposed source, the eight-minute “Sorcerer’s Apprentice” sequence in Disney’s 1940 “Fantasia,” starring Mickey Mouse. But, really, every sequence feels like it was based on other movies — from “The Karate Kid” training sessions in magic to the morphing of bugs or infinite granules of dust into evil beings straight out of “The Mummy.”

Baruchel is nicely off-center as a hero, which gives the film a little bite. Molina always is good value, and Kebell displays some wit, but the movie doesn’t ask him to do anything with it. Alice Krige and the alluring Monica Bellucci open and close things as good and evil sorcerers, but because they cohabit the same body at times, one can’t always tell whom to root for.

The movie marks the seventh collaboration between Cage and Bruckheimer, so maybe this represents a phenomenon one can label the Seven Picture Itch: A creative partnership has turned so routine that the roles — and pictures — are all beginning to blend into one.

Where once Cage could play off-center, too, notably in “Con Air,” here there is no spark of inventiveness. His character is all wardrobe, makeup and long, scraggly hair. What has even kept him alive for more than a thousand years? The movie is too lazy and the actor too indifferent even to suggest a reason.

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Predators

Posted in Uncategorized on July 17th, 2010 by mick – Be the first to comment

Chosen for their ability to kill without conscience, a group of killers, some trained and some who are not, must endeavour the alien race of predators that have set out to target them as prey. Dropped into the vast jungle of a distant world, these human predators must learn just who, or what, they are up against, and that their ability, knowledge and wits are tested to the limits in the battle of survival of kill or be killed.

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Despicable Me

Posted in Uncategorized on July 17th, 2010 by mick – 4 Comments

In a happy suburban neighborhood surrounded by white picket fences with flowering rose bushes, sits a black house with a dead lawn. Unbeknownst to the neighbors, hidden beneath this home is a vast secret hideout. Surrounded by a small army of minions, we discover Gru (voiced by Steve Carell), planning the biggest heist in the history of the world. He is going to steal the moon. (Yes, the moon!) Gru delights in all things wicked. Armed with his arsenal of shrink rays, freeze rays, and battle-ready vehicles for land and air, he vanquishes all who stand in his way. Until the day he encounters the immense will of three little orphaned girls who look at him and see something that no one else has ever seen: a potential Dad. The world’s greatest villain has just met his greatest challenge: three little girls named Margo, Edith and Agnes.

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The Last Airbender

Posted in Uncategorized on July 12th, 2010 by mick – 1 Comment

The world is divided into four kingdoms, each represented by the element they harness, and peace has lasted throughout the realms of Water, Air, Earth, and Fire under the supervision of the Avatar, a link to the spirit world and the only being capable of mastering the use of all four elements. When young Avatar Aang disappears, the Fire Nation launches an attack to eradicate all members of the Air Nomads to prevent interference in their future plans for world domination. 100 years pass and current Fire Lord Ozai continues to conquer and imprison anyone with elemental “bending” abilities in the Earth and Water Kingdoms, while siblings Katara and Sokka from a Southern Water Tribe find a mysterious boy trapped beneath the ice outside their village. Upon rescuing him, he reveals himself to be Aang, Avatar and last of the Air Nomads. Swearing to protect the Avatar, Katara and Sokka journey with him to the Northern Water Kingdom in his quest to master “Waterbending” and eventually fulfill his destiny of once again restoring peace to the world. But as they inch nearer to their goal, the group must evade Prince Zuko, the exiled son of Lord Ozai, Commander Zhao, the Fire Nation’s military leader, and the tyrannical onslaught of the evil Fire Lord himself.

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Knight and Day

Posted in Uncategorized on June 26th, 2010 by mick – Be the first to comment

June Havens (Diaz) finds her everyday life tangled with that of a secret agent (Cruise) who has realized he isn’t supposed to survive his latest mission. As their campaign to stay alive stretches across the globe, they soon learn that all they can count on is each other

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